Fight for you
The worst thing in the world I could ever imagine happening to me—the thing I least wanted to happen—happened.
Did I really want to share this with you?
No. I didn’t. But the reality is I didn’t do anything to ‘deserve’ what occurred. It just happened.
Instead of running from how badly it hurts, I decided to lean into it. I decided I wasn’t going to shrink. I was going to face the injustice and feel all the pain. This is why I say whatever is on the other side of fear is exactly what you need to move towards. It empowers me to type these words—while afraid of being judged—and send them to you anyway.
“Why would he share something so personal?” “That’s so self-indulgent of him.” or “Oh, he’s so dramatic, [unfollow].” These are thoughts I’m afraid people will think, that tempt me to withhold this from you. But I do not think it is noble or modest to hide. So, I’m posting it anyway.
This needs to be said: fighting for yourself and fighting for a sustainable world are not mutually exclusive.
They depend on each other.
The adage that “to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself” is true. But what ‘taking care of ourselves’ looks like is one of the hardest things to discern if you’ve lived life placing your needs behind the needs of others because you thought it was ‘right.’
I was one of those people.
Shifting out of this is jarring because, at first, it can feel selfish. But it isn’t. Embracing your pain comes with power. And I know you may not believe me when I say this, but when you go through that fire, life becomes exciting again. And excitement doesn’t look like what society tells you it is.
Some people truly are selfish, but I don’t think that’s most people.
I think many people struggle to care for themselves because of the system we are forced to operate in and the amount of trauma and hurt inflicted on them. People become hardened, hyper-independent, and retreat into their shells. They lose sight of what they truly want and what’s possible.
A sustainable world begins with showing up for yourself, showing yourself compassion, and being your own best friend, mentor, and champion. This expands your capacity to care for others. You relate to others by how well you relate to yourself. Part of that is acknowledging what has hurt you.
For me, it has been excruciating. It meant acknowledging that I didn’t deserve what happened, and couldn’t prevent it.
We leave behind things, pursuits, and people we once thought were meant for us. We become still and listen to what our intuition says.
It may not make sense. It may be lonely. But after a while, uncertainty fades, confusion melts, and things begin to make more sense. Loneliness becomes where you find yourself.
But that doesn't mean you stay there. You cannot expect to live a full life while insulated, comfortable, and never taking a risk again. The thing that scares you most is often the exact thing you need to take a chance on—someone or something you love.
Doing it despite the pain, and the hurt is how you fight for yourself and for the world in the best way you possibly can.
When I told someone I get up at 4 am every day, go to bed by 8, and fill my day wall to wall with work I want to do, he said, “Don’t forget to enjoy life.” His words were well-intentioned, but this is how I enjoy life now.
Every waking second is precious to me. I can’t distract myself anymore.
For many years I was told, “go with the flow.” I tried it. But it took me places I never want to go back to.
When I started listening to myself and stopped ‘going with the flow,’ things became clear.
You don’t have to search for the answer. The answer is already in you.
I’m not trying to tell you this is easy. It’s hard.
Our society currently rewards people for sacrificing their own needs, integrity, health, or another person’s. This is not sustainable.
Most of us don't function in this system because it wasn't designed to sustain us. A small amount people dominate the resources, which Luke Kemp calls ‘Goliaths.’
If we had a world where every one of us could complete our own individuation without worrying about how we'll put food on the table, imagine how many lives could be fully lived. Believe it or not, this world is fully possible right now.
Even if it isn’t the world we have, we can use every minute to embrace ourselves.
Fight for yourself, for the life you know you truly are meant to live. In doing so, you fight for the world and the planet we all deserve.
Mike
Image Credit: Ficus macrophylla (Moreton Bay Fig tree) near Centennial, Australia. Photo by Me.